When I decided to take the path of becoming a sorcerer a few decades ago, my motivation was pretty clear; to rebel against the system. Call it God(s), The Force, etc but I wanted to break against the rules it set to me.
Then as time passed by, my motivation changed to power, to control, to whatever it is now.
During this pandemic, I made some life moves to go forward, but then I had to reset back to the previous arrangement that I had. Not that it failed….. Again, I had to make a choice, and the choice was easy to make due to personal circumstances but yet again, I’m down in a path because of the system.
I hate it, I hate being part of the cog but to be honest – I know a part of me knows that if I completely step away from the cog, I step away from one of the most important things in my life. I am extremely frustrated by this situation but I am, in all sense, powerless against it (as I already made the decision, and will stick by it till an outcome has been achieved).
With this sort of mental venting done, what was the outcome you wonder?
To control whatever I can at the moment. Not very profound, I must admit (lol). This sounds like a self help sort of theme but if I am tied down due to external circumstances, I can always strengthen my internal mindset, resolve, and personal power.
So I started to practice a little bit again, internal “tricks” to boost my mental and physical well being. My practice from a decade ago to now is completely different but the themes are still the same; increasing my personal power and have some control over the external forces in my life.