I don’t know about you, but for me especially – I need certain things to feel “fulfilled” – I need to be constantly moving, on the go. If life and magick was a video game, I’d be that player who likes to customize their characters rather than actually play the game and I would be an “achievement” whore.
This kind of mindset by default conflicts with the eastern philosophies that I try to implement in my life, having to stop and not do anything, the old me can’t fathom to think why one would want to do that but the me of now appreciates the fact that I managed to get past that hurdle and get that thinking assimilated in my software.
Don’t get me wrong, my default setting is still to go but now I can see why I would need to stop and follow that rhythm, go more with the flow rather than trying to overpower it with brute force.
In those “stop” moments in my life, I tend to do some contemplating as well, see where I am at. I use alot of non-magickal techniques to figure out what I would like to do; be it psychology, motivational books, internet articles, real life examples and then I would use magick to supplement and reinforce them.
When I feel that “ache” in my soul, it’s kinda like the spidey sense, in regards that it is telling me that I am not doing something that is aligned with what I truly want. Before, I use to cover it up by purchasing things or blowing my mind senseless with drugs, booze, or woman.
I’m better at managing this issue by enriching my mind, body, and spirit with actions (not stuff) that fulfils it. The art of magick and personal development sates my mental needs, music soothes my spiritual hunger, and physically – sports has managed to tame the beast but I think I would need a little more extreme than that, something along combat training or survivalist adventures to really get that something – to push myself to the extreme.
If I do all 3 for at least an hour or so everyday, I feel that I have lived and had a fulfilling day.
Some might say, it’s seems like a low ceiling to try to reach, especially for someone who has potential to do better. Personally, I couldn’t care less about that – I need to work on myself and if this is the path I have to take, so be it. As well, if one is truly following their path, whose to say one can judge that path, especially with someones personal projections of self esteem.
You do you, and I do mine.