Updating Prime Directives

I call my life todo lists “prime directives”, because it sounds cool, makes it seem important, and it’s catchy and something my brain always picks up on and prioritizes. Gotta have that fun any way I can.

  1. Get a Job

Did I call it or what? Easy peasy pumpkin weasy. Got hired on the spot with the first interview.

Before I went to my interview, I called upon my power and did a little prayer to my boys at NAP, thanking them again and asking for their guidance.

I went to the first interview and that was it, H I R E D.

To be honest, that was the first interview that went that well. I got pretty much what I wanted, the guy was impressed with my resume and our interview. My now current boss did not want to let me go – he wanted me to start right away, he was very aggressive. I told him I can start on Monday since I have a couple of interviews I still had to go to and he told me to think about it for a couple of minutes and let him know, and that he will really appreciate it if I started. I took the 5, had a smoke and spoke to my sister and I came back and told him I’ll do it.

The dude literally gave me a high five out of happiness!

So in short; I have a job, it is sooo easy I think I’d be bored, I got the pay that I wanted, it’s in the morning, it’s close to where I live.

I’m gonna take this “W” for now.😛

So now that issue has been dealt with, time to update my prime directives.

  1. Get to 200 lbs.
  2. Acquire plenty of nakamas.
  3. Advance music life.

Losing weight has been bumped to priority. My fat loss has been slow but not consistent, I need to be more consistent. While I have myself the whole year to completely revamp myself from the ground up, I would like to quicken this aspect. Gonna join a boxing gym soon, 2x a week, a real gym as well, 5x a week. This is my focus at the moment, lose them fat, gain some gainz, lol.

Nakamas should be easy, I just have to adjust my thinking….Lower down the “Lone Wolf” mentality. Variety is the spice of life.

Advancing Musical/Musician Life is progressing; breaking in our new drummer, learning how to mix and master songs; now that I got a job, booking shows is going to be easier. Just have to network more.

Overall, I’m glad I got a job – that’s really the only piece I was waiting for to make meaningful adjustments and movements in my life. Unfortunately, money does make the world go round and round (depends on the lifestyle), and if I want to get on that ride, I need to break a couple of eggs to make that omelette.

Time for that new adventure to begin!!!!!

Facing Yourself

I’ve been in a good routine of writing things out, I keep this blog mostly for magickal related stories and tidbits, but I also keep a journal on the side – finally get to use my ridiculous collection of blank journals and fancy fountain pens, lol.

The act of writing is like facing my mirror self but the mirror only shows what’s there, not what you perceive – even though it shows you who you really are, it’s still up to you to perceive and understand what it is showing you.

I was writing in my journal in regards to my oh so favourite topic (and person) that I am dealing with (anger issue with someone) and I was trying to figure out how to deal with it – as soon as I started writing, I ask myself a question and I answer it in my journal. I thought this situation is odd and I am not like this but as soon as I wrote it down the sheet, my brain starts to process it and I then realize that this is actually my pattern but to a certain extent. I thought my level of anger was in a 3.5/5 scale but I now realize, it’s actually in a 5/5 scale.

I’d like to believe for the most part, I live a very Zen’ish life but as my mum would say, I have my grandfathers temper – a ticking time bomb in which the countdown is nearing zero. (My grandpa is super nice and super quiet, till you pissed him off, then he turns into the Hulk, lol)

The more I write, the more I dig deeper, the more I write, the more questions I have than answers till it finally hit me. I am projecting my own inadequacies to that person. Don’t get me wrong, the person is a 5h1t3 still and my own issue is that I am not selfish like that but I wish I was but I’m too nice of a guy, especially to my family…hence the projection.

I took note of it, discussed it with myself, and came to a resolution that it is true. Now, learning that little tidbit of truth set me a little free – no more flashes of anger that consumes me. I still get “annoyed” but not to the extent where you can see dark energies pulsing out of me, lol.

The thing is, not alot of people can take a good look at themselves and objectively observe, and empirically make notes about themselves.

The ego is always there. The narrative that they’ve put as the backdrop of their lives is there. The delusions and restrictions that they’ve put on them selves to justify their own inadequacy and failures.

It’s sad because there’s so many examples in the world where people came out of worse situations to achieve marvellous things, a quick youtube search on motivational ideas or even every TED talk out there will show the potential of achievement past desperate odds.

I can never understand that point of view because I’ve been on the wrong side of that rail, and I made it to the other side – I grinded and hustled and pounced on every opportunity I got. My old man was the same and he taught me those values too.

I could tell you stories, and I got them stories but to be honest, it’ll have to do a 10 part posting on how one lives in the slums of Manila Philippines…and that’s just my childhood, lol.

As a little glimpse, lets go for my Grade 1 elementary school and demolished area beside it, and crackheads….Whatever you are imagining, it’s probably worst.

In conclusion.

Get over it. The world is not fair. We have all been dealt with bad hands in a point in our lives. There’s good looking people, and there’s ugly as fuck people (physically and mentally, lol). The world is filled with inconsistencies. People have it tough in the Africa, Middle East. People die and get killed pointlessly and needlessly every day in the hundreds.

Not everything in this world is sunshine, buttercups and rainbows but instead of finding excuses everywhere else, get your head out of your asses, take responsibility and live.

pretty much the perfect example – i dare you to correct me, lol.

FTW! Handling Things

It sucks to admit but my mental state is weak at certain things. I am a force to be reckoned with on certain things, and I have a hard time at actioning certain things.

For the most part, it’s when I have to do things that I am uncomfortable with; for example, work interviews. Just that initial phase of sending resume to employers, calling back potential employees – I swear to Jebus it took a cadre of spirits to get my ass moving.

I don’t like that, especially in the grand scope of things, it’s a trivial matter that I should be able to handle but there’s an error in my brain OS that causes me to glitch out on this.

I’m trying to think of other examples…..

  • This past weekend, we ended up going out for some bubble tea on a busy area of the city. I ended up parking in an area a little bit farther but I probably could’ve parked closer but the idea of it potentially discomforting to me (what if there was no parking and I’d have to find it, going back and forth) was enough for me not to do it.
  • Doing new things (places or people), it discomforts me that I am going to do something I have no info or control on.
  • Dealing with people I don’t want to deal with.
  • Etc.

Essentially, if it is something that discomforts me, or discomforts other people which in turn discomforts me – it will discomfort me enough to slack off or put me in an inactivity state. Mind you, it only takes a little push and I’m like a giant boulder rolling down a steep hill but nonetheless, it annoys me that I am this way.

Today, I was supposed to call back some potential employers, to confirm interview dates and times and job salaries, but I was slacking H A R D. I was going to start at 11:00, moved it to 13:00, and eventually procrastinated till 15:00…’ish. Before I even started at 15:00, I was just not gonna go through with it and “restart” anew at next week, making a lot of excuses for me along the way. I was full of “anxiety” (for a lack of a better term, I think that’s what I was feeling, I wasn’t sure about it) and my mind was fluffy and cloudy.

I was like WTF? Get yer ass moving f#%$t$rd!!!!!

I laid there, gathered my power, and started chanting to myself some words of encouragement. (think Nike slogan, over and over again, fuelled by magick).

I was starting to feel a little better, a little charged up, so I decided to pull out all the stops and bring out the nukes. I opened up the electronic copy of my grimoire from my cellphone and went to the NAP section. I did my normal routines and called up a cadre of them (Arzel, Nitika, Elubatel, Opiel, Patahyah and Iaoth) and I basically told them I want an easy job, close to my home, and pays well – I also asked Arzel to keep guiding me till we reach a conclusion.

I didn’t even finish closing my ritual yet when I got a call from an employer about a job offering and wanting to schedule me for an interview on Friday. I didn’t answer the phone during the ritual, I closed it and called back afterwards.

As soon as the conjurations were done, my mind was clearer, sharper, like a razor sharp katana. I called the potential employers I had on queue with gusto and confidence that will even make Agent 007 weak on his knees and prioritized the ones with the most potential and the ones that fills out my criteria.

With that said, 2 interviews – one tomorrow, one Friday, and one potential employer (the shift is overnight, 19:00 to 04:00 – to be fair, it meets all my criteria, I just didn’t specify a time frame, lol). My job interviews all meet the criteria I asked for; easy office job, close to my home, the pay range is $45k to 50k – most of it is in the morning, which is a bonus. I have a feeling I will end up taking one of them this week.

In conclusion

  • Was my magick efficient? Was it strategically planned and executed? Was all the recent modern magickal standards and guidelines followed? Hell NOOOO!! Was my magick effective? Was my magick performed in technical proficiency geared for success? I would like to think so.
  • In the end, you gotta do what you gotta do, results are the priority.
  • I have to think of a way to…bypass that “anxiety bug” that I have.
  • The entities of NAP love me for some unknown reason, even the big guy Elubatel. (NAP practitioners and SA lurkers know what I mean)
  • Still got it, lol.😛

Gotta dust out my office gear and print out my resume.

Brain Magick – Overheating

Since I started manually trying to “hack” certain processes my body performs, I’ve noticed that I’ve been over heating as of late. Every day, once a day, in different times, I would feel my bodys’ temperature go hot, for the lack of a better term.

I started to notice it when I started to get a headache more frequently, I thought it was due to me working out and some of my back muscles were sore, thus affecting my neck muscles, thus giving me a headache. It could be that I am getting a headache/migraine but why the sudden spike in occurrences? Maybe it is even time to stop smoking and the headaches are some sort of symptoms of a greater issue?

It could be one of the many reasons but why would my body go hot though? And why would an Advil alleviate it sometimes?

I’ve been trying to optimize my weight loss by magick’ing my body to go down to 15% body fat, while actually working out – trying to avoid crap food while I’m at it as well and drinking loads of water.

For the most part, it’s been working out pretty swell but the results are not something to scream about – it looks like I’m losing the weight the natural way, without any help of accelerators.

When this issue starts to happen though, I just lay down for a bit and pore exhale “heat” out of my body, especially around the brain area. I am trying to avoid using medicine as  much as possible since I don’t know the exact reasons of this issue.

Going forward, I will probably take more cold showers frequently and try to do some energy maintenance. Physically and magickally cool myself down but with that said, how does that affect my process hacking, should I just stop it anyways since the result/side effects is not even worth it?

Really wish they had those body tech augmentations right about now, lol.

When It Clicks

Last Friday, it finally “clicked” with me – it’s like the universe told me I’m ready to go, an internal timer counter counting down to the time when I am free to roam the world again.

It is a good feeling…

I applied to jobs left right and center, have a couple of interviews tomorrow – mentally I am strong again, ready to take on any challenge. There is still that issue of negative vibes I am exuding against a certain family member of mine but overall, I am in a good place.

It feels good to be in a place of power again, not hesitating, not doubting my self and my actions. No one wants to be run by a king who is not confident with what they are doing; that’s what I felt like before, a king without a sword.

Music has been flowing great again, ideas and determination are blooming. Etc, etc. Everything seems to be like covered in an Instagram filter that makes everything look rosy and great.

The things I need to do, the things I want to do, I need to build a solid foundation that will hold it together so having this inspiration to achieve stuff again is really a blessing.

It’s time to move on and get going again. I don’t know how far I’ll go this time around but I’m gonna make sure I’m going to have a heck of a time going at it.

Finding Chuck

I’ve been detailing my mundane events here as of late because sometimes, I feel that we tend to gloss over these kinds of things, try to make us bigger, make us some sort of superstar. I’m not into magick to make courses, or sell enchanted stuff, or for a publishing deal, or for money. I do what I can, I help others out if I can, I try to help myself most of the time though, lol.

I’m a pretty normal guy with that said, I like cars, movies, TV shows, guitars, woman, cars, etc – just a normal guy who likes to tinker with magick and see what makes it tick, what’s under the hood per se. Not to say that I didn’t receive certain predisposed gifts, especially on the physical and mental side of things but that’s really it; I’m pretty athletic for a big guy and I’m pretty smart for a smart ass, lol. I didn’t come from a rich family, nor am I wealthy at the moment – I’m just living, pay check by pay check as one would say.

Magick for me, is pretty entailed with my mundane life, if my mundane life is not working well, it affects my magickal practice. If my magickal practice if going off the wozzy, it affects my mundane life as well.

I was having a conversation with my sister, and the topic came up of our generation of “friends” who are in our out-outer circle, especially the males who are “Tauruses”. (Funny how we actually have a lot of them. Also why I don’t have alot of friends at the moment, lol. I don’t associate with them like I used to years ago)

For the most part, they are pretty lazy and does not live a fulfilled and a quality based lifestyle. They don’t know what they are doing, delusional about themselves, and have pretty crappy standards and morals. One guy is just at home, while his wife is at work, sleeping and not contributing. One guy cheated on his fiancee and got caught. One guy is a lazy bum who is selfish and does not know what he is doing.

My sister was defending me to her friend about it, she says not all Taurus are like that – me and her boss as an example.

It puts my life, and accomplishments into perspective, and even though I am in a career pivoting at the moment, I can honestly say I turned out way better than they did.

Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty lazy but I feel like it’s more so that I am not excited about alot of things, I am more effective with my energy allocation as one might say (lol) – but the key difference is that I have an “adult” mindset, (I’m still a kid in heart :P) I take responsibilities and I keep them. I guess I portray more of the positive aspects of Tauruses.

I also find it funny because all of the examples I mentioned above are die hard Catholics.

They do the routine, go to church, sing in the choir, altar men, youth and adult groups. In fact, that’s how we met them to begin with. These days though, there’s so much drama in that group(s) that I feel like I’m watching Melrose Place.

That’s probably one of the things that drove me away from Catholicism in general, the amount of hypocrisy with its’ practitioners (and to an effect, the subject of Church and its practices). So many examples of people just pretending to go to church for show, not actually practising the commandments or the scriptures taught.

If I stayed in the Catholic path, I could’ve been a priest by now. (But then, I wouldn’t discover that thing called “Rock And Roll” – Praise Satan *devil horns*)

To be fair, I didn’t know much about that God back then, just my observations in regards to their practitioners and the practices and my point of view is much better now. I feel that I have a better relationship with him. (I never understood why I had to go to church every weekend when I can just pray to God, since it is everywhere).

Lately, I’ve been harbouring some intense anger, alot of negative energies, and I’ve been trying to work on that, trying to diminish it. I’m ok with these types of negative energies, I think it’s healthy to have them but I felt like in this situation, it was consuming me. It’s a complicated scenario so I won’t go in to detail about it but with that said, I decided to pray to God about it.

The Our Father, The Hail Marys, The I Believe. I still remember all of it and to be honest, I still consider the Catholic system to be “holy” magick. If the shit hits the fan on something, the Catholic methodology is probably my go to “in case of emergency, break this out” fail safe method.

A couple of days has passed, and the anger has subsided, there’s a feeling of serenity around me now and I now wonder if I should devote some time in to this. If my “calling” is to work with “light” based entities and focus on that. Realign my whole system based off this “revelation”. (lol, see what I did there).

I thought about it and one of the things that stops me is I don’t want to be those guys who “found” God later in their life. (lol, I used to make fun of my old man about that and now, I’m gonna end up the same) Pragmatically, it just wouldn’t make sense for me to tie myself up like that.

To end this long winded word vomit, I will probably not change my system and path. I will incorporate some things but overall, it’s just some updating not a complete overhaul. I do plan on checking out some things here and there but mostly, it’s going to be an intuitive sort of personal journey and experience, not from the tinted view of the Catholic canon. I do appreciate the feelings I received and confirms the path I am on right now.

What goes around, comes around – right Chuck?!?


The Pyramid Of Development II

Going with what I wrote in my previous post, it doesn’t mean one should stop developing themselves – for me, I need direction and goals.

One of the barometers I use is Maslows Pyramid Of Needs, to see where I am at.

I like using this guideline because it makes sense to me, in mundane and magickal life. This guideline is not perfect, and there are outliers and extremes in each scenario but I like having guidelines to show my progression, like having an exp/lvl counter. (If I need lvl 55 to beat a certain boss, it would be nice to know how far I am from that level or if I reached it).

If I were to truthfully look at myself in comparison to the pyramid, I am not very complete nor balanced in that regard – my development is very widespread to say the least.

Level 5 (the bottom part of the pyramid) is pretty much fulfilled, maybe a better quality of it. Lack good sleep a lot of times. The sex can be better (?).

The sexual needs is an interesting topic to me personally since I like sex but I don’t feel the need to seek it, I would like to have it any time I want but if I can’t get it, I’m not going to go to bars and “hunt” women down. Is it because I’m older that my testosterone is lower? I don’t think so.

My current view is that I like the pleasure that it brings me but I am not a slave to it – some people are driven by money, some by sex, but not me. Am I past this carnal pleasures? No I don’t think so – maybe it’s that ol’ saying of who I am having it with. But to be honest, it’s not that I don’t go out and meet women, I guess I just haven’t found “that” one. (Not that I subscribe to that “true” love notion). Also, I think I am not ready to give everything of myself to that someone and I don’t think its’ right, or fair, for me to expect everything from someone while I can only give a half of me.

Level 4 is pretty much fulfilled as well except for a “real” job, which I am working on right now so that should be ok soon.

Level 3 I feel is where I am lacking alot. I do have a family and friends that I love dearly but I feel like I’m those types of people that needs multiple friends, the more friends I have – the better for me. Level 5 and 3 ties together with sexual intimacy and is something I will look at closely from now on. I actually feel that it would be better for me to find companions who are aligned with my mindset, rather than finding sexual partners, if I can find a woman who has all of that – that would be the best scenario but I have not found her yet.

Level 2 & Level 1 seems to be handled and is probably one of the levels where I can honestly say that I am doing well. I could work on softening my harbouring of prejudices but it’s not up to a point where it is unhealthy, certain things will get me riled up (1 at the moment which I am currently dealing with but it is hard as fluck) but I think I have it handled.

With all of that said, lol, I’m going to look for a job (I actually started, just paused to write this post). Need to benjamins so that I can work on the other things I want achieved.