I’ve been detailing my mundane events here as of late because sometimes, I feel that we tend to gloss over these kinds of things, try to make us bigger, make us some sort of superstar. I’m not into magick to make courses, or sell enchanted stuff, or for a publishing deal, or for money. I do what I can, I help others out if I can, I try to help myself most of the time though, lol.
I’m a pretty normal guy with that said, I like cars, movies, TV shows, guitars, woman, cars, etc – just a normal guy who likes to tinker with magick and see what makes it tick, what’s under the hood per se. Not to say that I didn’t receive certain predisposed gifts, especially on the physical and mental side of things but that’s really it; I’m pretty athletic for a big guy and I’m pretty smart for a smart ass, lol. I didn’t come from a rich family, nor am I wealthy at the moment – I’m just living, pay check by pay check as one would say.
Magick for me, is pretty entailed with my mundane life, if my mundane life is not working well, it affects my magickal practice. If my magickal practice if going off the wozzy, it affects my mundane life as well.
I was having a conversation with my sister, and the topic came up of our generation of “friends” who are in our out-outer circle, especially the males who are “Tauruses”. (Funny how we actually have a lot of them. Also why I don’t have alot of friends at the moment, lol. I don’t associate with them like I used to years ago)
For the most part, they are pretty lazy and does not live a fulfilled and a quality based lifestyle. They don’t know what they are doing, delusional about themselves, and have pretty crappy standards and morals. One guy is just at home, while his wife is at work, sleeping and not contributing. One guy cheated on his fiancee and got caught. One guy is a lazy bum who is selfish and does not know what he is doing.
My sister was defending me to her friend about it, she says not all Taurus are like that – me and her boss as an example.
It puts my life, and accomplishments into perspective, and even though I am in a career pivoting at the moment, I can honestly say I turned out way better than they did.
Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty lazy but I feel like it’s more so that I am not excited about alot of things, I am more effective with my energy allocation as one might say (lol) – but the key difference is that I have an “adult” mindset, (I’m still a kid in heart :P) I take responsibilities and I keep them. I guess I portray more of the positive aspects of Tauruses.
I also find it funny because all of the examples I mentioned above are die hard Catholics.
They do the routine, go to church, sing in the choir, altar men, youth and adult groups. In fact, that’s how we met them to begin with. These days though, there’s so much drama in that group(s) that I feel like I’m watching Melrose Place.
That’s probably one of the things that drove me away from Catholicism in general, the amount of hypocrisy with its’ practitioners (and to an effect, the subject of Church and its practices). So many examples of people just pretending to go to church for show, not actually practising the commandments or the scriptures taught.
If I stayed in the Catholic path, I could’ve been a priest by now. (But then, I wouldn’t discover that thing called “Rock And Roll” – Praise Satan *devil horns*)
To be fair, I didn’t know much about that God back then, just my observations in regards to their practitioners and the practices and my point of view is much better now. I feel that I have a better relationship with him. (I never understood why I had to go to church every weekend when I can just pray to God, since it is everywhere).
Lately, I’ve been harbouring some intense anger, alot of negative energies, and I’ve been trying to work on that, trying to diminish it. I’m ok with these types of negative energies, I think it’s healthy to have them but I felt like in this situation, it was consuming me. It’s a complicated scenario so I won’t go in to detail about it but with that said, I decided to pray to God about it.
The Our Father, The Hail Marys, The I Believe. I still remember all of it and to be honest, I still consider the Catholic system to be “holy” magick. If the shit hits the fan on something, the Catholic methodology is probably my go to “in case of emergency, break this out” fail safe method.
A couple of days has passed, and the anger has subsided, there’s a feeling of serenity around me now and I now wonder if I should devote some time in to this. If my “calling” is to work with “light” based entities and focus on that. Realign my whole system based off this “revelation”. (lol, see what I did there).
I thought about it and one of the things that stops me is I don’t want to be those guys who “found” God later in their life. (lol, I used to make fun of my old man about that and now, I’m gonna end up the same) Pragmatically, it just wouldn’t make sense for me to tie myself up like that.
To end this long winded word vomit, I will probably not change my system and path. I will incorporate some things but overall, it’s just some updating not a complete overhaul. I do plan on checking out some things here and there but mostly, it’s going to be an intuitive sort of personal journey and experience, not from the tinted view of the Catholic canon. I do appreciate the feelings I received and confirms the path I am on right now.
What goes around, comes around – right Chuck?!?