This week, I found myself unhappy with my system of divination – the source of it is for the most part, the cumbersome and tedious way of going about it. Roll dice, interpret, hold pendulum, ask question, perceive omens, wait and discern.
Maybe I’m a little spoiled by Google, it can do so many things with it that I want a system like that placed in the magickal sphere. Maybe if I had better control or access to the akashic records then I wouldn’t have this issue but well….if I only had Jedi like powers, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be having these issues anyways.
So I think it’s time to move away from the dices and the pendulums, and do a little upgrading.
I want quick, precise, and intuitive.
I think I’m ok if I spend a little time working on it, and having something that I actually would like and enjoy using.
To me, chaos magick is the multi tool of my magickal EDC kit; I don’t think it’s a religion, I don’t think it’s a system in the traditional sense, I do not put it in a pedestal like others do, I pretty much use it to bend the rules to my advantage – I don’t go extreme right and worship superman or pikachu nor do I think tulpas are my imaginary friend.
I don’t ever proclaim to be a bona fide uber l33t ka05 mag1ck1an but I think I’ve been on the supernatural synchronicity highway long enough to know a thing or two. I was never taught by a kaos master, anything I learned I picked up from ChaosMatrix.org or Phil Hines’ stuff, I was pretty much borne after the psychedelic chaos generation – the information superhighway chaos magickians. From the lingo and symbolism I use, I thought it was pretty much a given.
Chaos Magick to me is one of those modular systems of magick, you got the basics to work with but you can add anything you want on it the more you play around with it, kinda like the plug and play in Windows OS.
It reminded me of a complete martial art that is ever developing, the next set of students will add to the next generations work. A chaote magickian from the 70’s will far differ from a chaote of 2016 -while there are threads from the base knowledge that makes it similar, the personalization and customization built in the system and the users who uses it ensures a variety of flavours that continues on to this day.
Kinda like Linux; there’s Fedora, Ubuntu, Mint, Debian, Red Hat but in a nutshell, it’s all Linux but different flavours of style and accessibility.
In a sense, Chaos Magick is more of an arte and a mindset.
We all learn the fundamentals of sketching, painting, colours, symmetry, etc in art school but in the end, the ones who makes an impact are the ones who steps out of there boxes and gives it everything they’ve got in their masterpieces.
We just went to watch the Conjuring II, and it was a pretty good movie. I don’t know if that’s how I’ll handle any case but, to each their own.
However, the thing that astounded me the most was after watching the movie, I decided to do some research on the Warrens – I think I did some light research after the first movie but I guess nothing important stuck to my brain.
I did some reading and I was astounded that they have 10,000+ cases under their belts.
To be fair, in my decade + in the business, I’ve dealt with maybe under 50 cases, and maybe under 5’ish of what I would even consider serious. I don’t even consider the stuff I experiment on, sorcery stuff, etc – just the plain ol’ paranormal phenomenon .
And they’ve had 10,000 + cases, it boggles my mind.
I mean maybe they were the only legit game in the business at the time, maybe their popularity helped but to handle that amount of cases is really something, for me, to behold.
In my head, I wonder if they were just gifted in that sense – like destined to do that line of work. They even have a collection of haunted artefacts, CRAZEE!
Either way, I appreciate the good fight. They’re not even using magick swords to take out the bad guys, lol.
So I’ve been working for a couple of days now, and it has its ups and downs.
It’s good to be honest but my issue is actually with myself, I can’t seem to stop micro managing, even though I am not even in that position to manage… I hear issues, mistakes, someone needs work support, and I know I can do it, so I jump in and just do it – but that’s always been my problem.
I overextend myself and then taken for granted, and then I become unhappy about it – give an inch and they’ll take a mile off.
I know what I need to do but it’s hard to teach an old dog new trick, especially when I’m really good at it.
But I got to do it, so I will.
To the point, a friend pointed out an article in regards to “Outcome Frame”, that it might help me orient what I need to do. I read the article and it asked some questions that needed to be answered;
“What do I want?”
“When do I want it?”
“How will I know that I have it?”
“When I get what I want, what else in my life will improve?”
“What resources do I have available to help me with this?”
“How can I best utilize the resources that I have?”
“What am I going to begin doing now to get what I want?”
I read it, and I kinda snickered, not because I’m being an elitist….more so I think these kinds of questions are common sense (and questions I asked myself all the time).
I thought that we are now in a point where humans needs to be spoon fed information, and not bother thinking about answers for questions in their life – and it’s not just for this; the internet has carved a niche market for people spoon feeding people information.
I could see the advantages but I feel that the disadvantages are greater; either we use information to evolve and grow or become a vegetable, not thinking anymore – just consuming.
I call my life todo lists “prime directives”, because it sounds cool, makes it seem important, and it’s catchy and something my brain always picks up on and prioritizes. Gotta have that fun any way I can.
Get a Job
Did I call it or what? Easy peasy pumpkin weasy. Got hired on the spot with the first interview.
Before I went to my interview, I called upon my power and did a little prayer to my boys at NAP, thanking them again and asking for their guidance.
I went to the first interview and that was it, H I R E D.
To be honest, that was the first interview that went that well. I got pretty much what I wanted, the guy was impressed with my resume and our interview. My now current boss did not want to let me go – he wanted me to start right away, he was very aggressive. I told him I can start on Monday since I have a couple of interviews I still had to go to and he told me to think about it for a couple of minutes and let him know, and that he will really appreciate it if I started. I took the 5, had a smoke and spoke to my sister and I came back and told him I’ll do it.
The dude literally gave me a high five out of happiness!
So in short; I have a job, it is sooo easy I think I’d be bored, I got the pay that I wanted, it’s in the morning, it’s close to where I live.
I’m gonna take this “W” for now.😛
So now that issue has been dealt with, time to update my prime directives.
Get to 200 lbs.
Acquire plenty of nakamas.
Advance music life.
Losing weight has been bumped to priority. My fat loss has been slow but not consistent, I need to be more consistent. While I have myself the whole year to completely revamp myself from the ground up, I would like to quicken this aspect. Gonna join a boxing gym soon, 2x a week, a real gym as well, 5x a week. This is my focus at the moment, lose them fat, gain some gainz, lol.
Nakamas should be easy, I just have to adjust my thinking….Lower down the “Lone Wolf” mentality. Variety is the spice of life.
Advancing Musical/Musician Life is progressing; breaking in our new drummer, learning how to mix and master songs; now that I got a job, booking shows is going to be easier. Just have to network more.
Overall, I’m glad I got a job – that’s really the only piece I was waiting for to make meaningful adjustments and movements in my life. Unfortunately, money does make the world go round and round (depends on the lifestyle), and if I want to get on that ride, I need to break a couple of eggs to make that omelette.
I’ve been in a good routine of writing things out, I keep this blog mostly for magickal related stories and tidbits, but I also keep a journal on the side – finally get to use my ridiculous collection of blank journals and fancy fountain pens, lol.
The act of writing is like facing my mirror self but the mirror only shows what’s there, not what you perceive – even though it shows you who you really are, it’s still up to you to perceive and understand what it is showing you.
I was writing in my journal in regards to my oh so favourite topic (and person) that I am dealing with (anger issue with someone) and I was trying to figure out how to deal with it – as soon as I started writing, I ask myself a question and I answer it in my journal. I thought this situation is odd and I am not like this but as soon as I wrote it down the sheet, my brain starts to process it and I then realize that this is actually my pattern but to a certain extent. I thought my level of anger was in a 3.5/5 scale but I now realize, it’s actually in a 5/5 scale.
I’d like to believe for the most part, I live a very Zen’ish life but as my mum would say, I have my grandfathers temper – a ticking time bomb in which the countdown is nearing zero. (My grandpa is super nice and super quiet, till you pissed him off, then he turns into the Hulk, lol)
The more I write, the more I dig deeper, the more I write, the more questions I have than answers till it finally hit me. I am projecting my own inadequacies to that person. Don’t get me wrong, the person is a 5h1t3 still and my own issue is that I am not selfish like that but I wish I was but I’m too nice of a guy, especially to my family…hence the projection.
I took note of it, discussed it with myself, and came to a resolution that it is true. Now, learning that little tidbit of truth set me a little free – no more flashes of anger that consumes me. I still get “annoyed” but not to the extent where you can see dark energies pulsing out of me, lol.
The thing is, not alot of people can take a good look at themselves and objectively observe, and empirically make notes about themselves.
The ego is always there. The narrative that they’ve put as the backdrop of their lives is there. The delusions and restrictions that they’ve put on them selves to justify their own inadequacy and failures.
It’s sad because there’s so many examples in the world where people came out of worse situations to achieve marvellous things, a quick youtube search on motivational ideas or even every TED talk out there will show the potential of achievement past desperate odds.
I can never understand that point of view because I’ve been on the wrong side of that rail, and I made it to the other side – I grinded and hustled and pounced on every opportunity I got. My old man was the same and he taught me those values too.
I could tell you stories, and I got them stories but to be honest, it’ll have to do a 10 part posting on how one lives in the slums of Manila Philippines…and that’s just my childhood, lol.
As a little glimpse, lets go for my Grade 1 elementary school and demolished area beside it, and crackheads….Whatever you are imagining, it’s probably worst.
Get over it. The world is not fair. We have all been dealt with bad hands in a point in our lives. There’s good looking people, and there’s ugly as fuck people (physically and mentally, lol). The world is filled with inconsistencies. People have it tough in the Africa, Middle East. People die and get killed pointlessly and needlessly every day in the hundreds.
Not everything in this world is sunshine, buttercups and rainbows but instead of finding excuses everywhere else, get your head out of your asses, take responsibility and live.
It sucks to admit but my mental state is weak at certain things. I am a force to be reckoned with on certain things, and I have a hard time at actioning certain things.
For the most part, it’s when I have to do things that I am uncomfortable with; for example, work interviews. Just that initial phase of sending resume to employers, calling back potential employees – I swear to Jebus it took a cadre of spirits to get my ass moving.
I don’t like that, especially in the grand scope of things, it’s a trivial matter that I should be able to handle but there’s an error in my brain OS that causes me to glitch out on this.
I’m trying to think of other examples…..
This past weekend, we ended up going out for some bubble tea on a busy area of the city. I ended up parking in an area a little bit farther but I probably could’ve parked closer but the idea of it potentially discomforting to me (what if there was no parking and I’d have to find it, going back and forth) was enough for me not to do it.
Doing new things (places or people), it discomforts me that I am going to do something I have no info or control on.
Dealing with people I don’t want to deal with.
Essentially, if it is something that discomforts me, or discomforts other people which in turn discomforts me – it will discomfort me enough to slack off or put me in an inactivity state. Mind you, it only takes a little push and I’m like a giant boulder rolling down a steep hill but nonetheless, it annoys me that I am this way.
Today, I was supposed to call back some potential employers, to confirm interview dates and times and job salaries, but I was slacking H A R D. I was going to start at 11:00, moved it to 13:00, and eventually procrastinated till 15:00…’ish. Before I even started at 15:00, I was just not gonna go through with it and “restart” anew at next week, making a lot of excuses for me along the way. I was full of “anxiety” (for a lack of a better term, I think that’s what I was feeling, I wasn’t sure about it) and my mind was fluffy and cloudy.
I was like WTF? Get yer ass moving f#%$t$rd!!!!!
I laid there, gathered my power, and started chanting to myself some words of encouragement. (think Nike slogan, over and over again, fuelled by magick).
I was starting to feel a little better, a little charged up, so I decided to pull out all the stops and bring out the nukes. I opened up the electronic copy of my grimoire from my cellphone and went to the NAP section. I did my normal routines and called up a cadre of them (Arzel, Nitika, Elubatel, Opiel, Patahyah and Iaoth) and I basically told them I want an easy job, close to my home, and pays well – I also asked Arzel to keep guiding me till we reach a conclusion.
I didn’t even finish closing my ritual yet when I got a call from an employer about a job offering and wanting to schedule me for an interview on Friday. I didn’t answer the phone during the ritual, I closed it and called back afterwards.
As soon as the conjurations were done, my mind was clearer, sharper, like a razor sharp katana. I called the potential employers I had on queue with gusto and confidence that will even make Agent 007 weak on his knees and prioritized the ones with the most potential and the ones that fills out my criteria.
With that said, 2 interviews – one tomorrow, one Friday, and one potential employer (the shift is overnight, 19:00 to 04:00 – to be fair, it meets all my criteria, I just didn’t specify a time frame, lol). My job interviews all meet the criteria I asked for; easy office job, close to my home, the pay range is $45k to 50k – most of it is in the morning, which is a bonus. I have a feeling I will end up taking one of them this week.
Was my magick efficient? Was it strategically planned and executed? Was all the recent modern magickal standards and guidelines followed? Hell NOOOO!! Was my magick effective? Was my magick performed in technical proficiency geared for success? I would like to think so.
In the end, you gotta do what you gotta do, results are the priority.
I have to think of a way to…bypass that “anxiety bug” that I have.
The entities of NAP love me for some unknown reason, even the big guy Elubatel. (NAP practitioners and SA lurkers know what I mean)
Still got it, lol.😛
Gotta dust out my office gear and print out my resume.