Lusting For Results Is Ok

Satyr recently wrote about the magickal phenomena called “lust for results”, he outlines a couple of scenarios in which he shows how it’s effect on magickal results are overblown at times and how much of it is used as an excuse when failing.

I’ve never actually held this theory in high regards.

First off, being a sorcerer trained to use my emotions as fuel for my arte – I am literally lusting for results all the time when I perform my magick. To performing a blessing on my friends or family, or cursing a relationship – I am lusting for the result, I want it, I want it to happen, make it happen.

Also, I view a failure in magickal results as a couple of scenarios; lack of technique, far reaching unreasonable goals, and my oh so favorite “the fucking world just don’t want to give it to you” murphys law. Most of the time, lack of training and technique is the main cause.

There’s a reason as to why intermediate practitioners do not run in to this issue anymore – it’s because the mind is trained or has suitable training to wield the forces they need to get the results they want.

When I hear failure due to “lust of results”, I start asking myself;

  • Is it lack of training/technique?
  • Is the goal too far-fetched that even magick can’t touch it?
  • How long has the practitioner been practising?
  • What was the technique they used?
  • What was the time frame they are working with?
  • etc etc.

I don’t actually chalk anything to just “lust of results” – I can’t even fathom that someone has the presence of mind to think that when the results they wanted didn’t happen, which was a couple of days later I presume, would recall in that moment of time, in total perfect memory recall,

“Oh, I was really lusting for results at that time, that’s why it didn’t work.”

Lol.

Before chalking it up as failure to lust of results, maybe try re-examining your technique?

Sleepless In Seattle

Real sleepy…..

I decided to creating a customised symbol set that benefits my current needs. I trimmed it down to 5 forces that’ll benefit and help my life. With these 5 forces, I’m hoping to be able to tap into them easily and work with them in a modular fashion. If not one force is not enough, choose 2 or all, and they will still work in synergy. While I’m not trying to tap into world changing forces here, these will be enough for me to lead a comfortable lifestyle…give or take with magick anyways, lol.

I went towards creating chaote style sigils for them while creating words of power, I’m empowering them ala eastern esotericism methods.

The thing is, whenever I go through my empowering ritual, I feel so energized that I can’t fall asleep, and my body does not feel tired but I can tell some parts are getting worn out (back shoulder/feet gels area).

I’m at the 2nd day now where I haven’t been able to fall asleep. I don’t know if it’s the force I am working with, or just the empowering ritual itself. Anyways, I hope to be able to fall asleep tonight, I still got 2 more days after tonight of preparatory work.

Establishing Or Creating Symbol Set

As I go though my magickal inventory, trying to redefine and refine it into a simple yet functional system – throwing away the junk and keeping and strengthening the diamonds in the rough – I hit upon the same problem I always hit in my magickal journy(ies) for years now.

Should I start a fresh symbol set of my own making, or utilise an already established functioning set? I’m already aware of the pros and cons because like I said, this topic always come up in my head but I haven’t been able to find the answer even after all these years. Should I use greek vowels, demonic enns, or go chaote and sigilize or barbaric words?

I started jotting down in a notebook goetic entities and their associated demonic enns, and I wrote down entities of NAP and their associated words of power that I want to utilise more. I’ve been working again with Kuji In w/ empowering chants and hand seals but then I hit a point where I though this is not very minimalist, still very convoluted IMHO.

What I’m looking for right now is a system of magick to deal with my microcosmic needs; something simple and elegant, yet powerful.

My main issue is that I always need to be flexible and I want consistent results. I’ve been able to achieve results with the words of power from NAP or demonic enns in conjunction w/ goetic seals but it’s so..black and white. I’ve been working w/ Kuji In for years as well but it’s so….light’centric.  I’ve worked w/ sigils and customized words of power but I don’t achieve consistent results. I’ve worked w/ just pure elemental energy but it’s not very flexible for my taste, it’s so primal that programming the colours of human nature don’t seem to take well – also it doesn’t have any words of power I can link to (as far as I can tell).

1 step forward, 2 steps back, lol – but that’s ok, it’s all part of the journey. At this point though, it feels like I’ve let go of every system that I know to a point where I don’t have a personal magickal system.

It’s kinds scary….and I’m not at the point yet where I can call this feeling..refreshing as I have a blank slate to paint at.

 

 

Essentialism

I’m reading this book called, Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, trying to get some ideas and be inspired.

I’ve always been a big fan of the minimalism movement, even though it’s a little hard for me sometimes because I naturally like to collect things, be it out of curiosity or just survival instincts or I don’t like to waste things I think I’ll be using later on or my splurging habits….I’m actually the worst type of person to be a minimalist.

Anyways, my point was that there was a line that I really liked in the book, to paraphrase – it’s to invest on yourself. We’re so enamoured by the external distractions and stimulation that we discard one of the most important things in our lives; our mind, body & spirit.

Now, there are some schools of thought that totally discards the physical plane and if that is what they want to do, I can respect that but it’s the end all truth – that’s why I’m quite fond of the LHP as well, it strives to reach a next level but always grounded. There’s a reason this plane of existence exists, it’s not a hell for us to try to break out of.

This post has 2 points that I will eventually get to, lol. Just a couple of train of thoughts that came out to reading this book.

One is that invest on yourself, really look at your time and if you think you are doing this much for yourself, allocate 25% more on yourself. Not drown yourself w/ material things but enrich your mind, body and spirit with the things you truly enjoy. If you really want to nap all the time, then so be it, lol. If you’re action extraordinaire who makes James Bond life look like the Hardy Boys, then power to you.

My second point/thought is that minimalism is essentially baring one to the core of themselves without the trappings we put on to hide or blend in or whatever. That’s what I think of magick too, trying to bare it to the core components that can work at the level or any module/technique.

Overall, I didn’t like how the book was written but I like the message and the advice it gave out. It’s very lifehackcentric but TBH, I’ve read most of the tips online already.

Taking Control

I was reading Jasons post yesterday regarding a persons shadow calling and if you are following your true calling.

At this juncture in my life, I am not in control – not to say I’ve lost control, more so that there are too many variables that I haven’t been able to handle. Certain things needs to be in control for me so when I have to deal with the chaos that is life, my faculties are fully focused on dealing w/ this matter.

Work again has been a primary source of discomfort in my end. The people I’m working for are nice but we are heavily understaffed and all the mistakes end up falling unto me since I’m technically the only employee left on my department. I know it’s not my fault but I do care that the work quality has lowered and I am spending so much time at work again.

I dislike that I am not doing the things I want but my sense of responsibility forces me to ensure that my job is being done as right as possible. I want to run away, a part of my mind and body is telling me to run away, that I don’t need this kind of pain and torture that I can find another job. Another part of me is telling me to grind it out, tugging onto my sense of responsibility.

Realistically, my spiritual level is at normal but my mind and body is weak. I could feel my brain being sluggish, like a computer that is too fragmented, I need to re-format and clear up everything.

What is a guy to do?

Well, I’m shifting some of my priorities;

  • My work on IIH is being downgraded. I am a complete fanboy w/ Bardons book but TBH, the time I spent w/ it is too much – half of my workload is working on IIH side projects. I am keeping my work close to me but I am putting this in low priority for now.
  • Put more emphasis on my mental and physical level, bumping them up to high priority. Focus on simplification and effectiveness. Especially my mental levels, I can tell it is super low at the moment, I need to raise it up. My workload is mental heavy so I need to be on top shape to deal w/ issues that occurs.
  • Do some work sorcery. I’ve been doing a little to help my work but I’m going to step it up. The full works.
  • Redefine my prime directives.

It’s going to be 3 weeks of hell from this point but as the old saying goes, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

When One Window Closes

My company merger started and I really don’t have a coin in that pot… What I’m really looking forward to is how much it’ll make my job easier, lol, so I can focus on the things that really matters, like my sorcery practice.

Right now, I’m focusing on focusing my mind – strengthening it to the levels it used to be at. I feel that I’m still below 50% but I’m working on it – that’s my focus at the moment.

TBH, if I was to look at my current practice right now, all my levels have dipped below the levels I would like it to be at; physically, mentally, and spiritually – all my levels have gone down.

It’s to be expected, I mean I am working through a big change, and i have to prioritize certain things to make it through.
I’m hoping this new….window of opportunity will be more advantageous for my lifestyle.

Back to the grind, lol. 

Read Between The Lines

This week, I found myself unhappy with my system of divination – the source of it is for the most part, the cumbersome and tedious way of going about it. Roll dice, interpret, hold pendulum, ask question, perceive omens, wait and discern.

Maybe I’m a little spoiled by Google, it can do so many things with it that I want a system like that placed in the magickal sphere. Maybe if I had better control or access to the akashic records then I wouldn’t have this issue but well….if I only had Jedi like powers, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be having these issues anyways.

So I think it’s time to move away from the dices and the pendulums, and do a little upgrading.

I want quick, precise, and intuitive.

I think I’m ok if I spend a little time working on it, and having something that I actually would like and enjoy using.

Now, off to the drawing board.🙂