Finally, after a hiatus of basically going dark with no goal in mind, I am back. A lot rusty in every aspect of my practice but at least, my spark is back and ready to go at it. Coincidentally, it’s work w/ IIH that got me back into the groove of things again.
But with that said, my whole being is out of whack, due to lack of practice so here’s a little overview of what I need to work on to get back into the shape of things.
MENTAL STATE: lackluster
I believe it all starts with the mind and if the mind is not sharp, the rest will degrade as well (see next paragraph). I feel that the state of mind has dulled down. I lost the will and the fight.
Part of it is my antagonistic nature regarding the job that I am currently trudging along, painfully, part of it was my own self-doubts, part of it was my inner demons that I’ve let run amok. Overall, I lost the goal in sight and with losing that, lost my way.
My solution for this is start meditating again, back to the basics, sharpen this dull sword into something sharp and deadly again.
I can’t leave my work at the moment and since it really isn’t a priority in my life (even though it does take alot of my time), I can just kinda sit on it – my plan is to focus more on what I need to get done and kinda let my attention to my job wane. It’s hard but it must be done or I will go crazee.
As for my personal demons and doubts, they are a work in progress but for the most part – I can safely say they are actually the more manageable parts of this process.
PHYSICAL STATE: lackluster
I’ve let the temple that is my body go, not in a physical “I was a hottie who turned into a fatty” way..more so that the little upkeep things that I used to do has gone down the drain; training, taking showers, tooth-brushing, breathing exercises, unkempt hair, etc – all down the drain. I’m surprised that no one has complained about my truly bummish looks, lol.
So I’ve slowly started to get myself back into a routine, beat my old bummy self back into fighting form.
Next bit is functional training.
Then focusing on healing the parts that are ailing and need improvement and attention.
SPIRITUAL STATE: decent
On this aspect, while I am a bit rusty, I still got it. Energy control is still there, accumulation is a little slow. Communication w/ entities are still ok. It’s like riding a bike, lol. Initially though, when I was really starting to get the rust off – everything was slow but I guess when I started to get it flowing again.
Overall, I still have a lot to work on to gain my old “fighting form” – I recently got a tattoo in korean calligraphy that essentially says “strength in mind, body and spirit”.
Time to live up to those words.