Lusting For Results Is Ok

Satyr recently wrote about the magickal phenomena called “lust for results”, he outlines a couple of scenarios in which he shows how it’s effect on magickal results are overblown at times and how much of it is used as an excuse when failing.

I’ve never actually held this theory in high regards.

First off, being a sorcerer trained to use my emotions as fuel for my arte – I am literally lusting for results all the time when I perform my magick. To performing a blessing on my friends or family, or cursing a relationship – I am lusting for the result, I want it, I want it to happen, make it happen.

Also, I view a failure in magickal results as a couple of scenarios; lack of technique, far reaching unreasonable goals, and my oh so favorite “the fucking world just don’t want to give it to you” murphys law. Most of the time, lack of training and technique is the main cause.

There’s a reason as to why intermediate practitioners do not run in to this issue anymore – it’s because the mind is trained or has suitable training to wield the forces they need to get the results they want.

When I hear failure due to “lust of results”, I start asking myself;

  • Is it lack of training/technique?
  • Is the goal too far-fetched that even magick can’t touch it?
  • How long has the practitioner been practising?
  • What was the technique they used?
  • What was the time frame they are working with?
  • etc etc.

I don’t actually chalk anything to just “lust of results” – I can’t even fathom that someone has the presence of mind to think that when the results they wanted didn’t happen, which was a couple of days later I presume, would recall in that moment of time, in total perfect memory recall,

“Oh, I was really lusting for results at that time, that’s why it didn’t work.”

Lol.

Before chalking it up as failure to lust of results, maybe try re-examining your technique?

Sleepless In Seattle

Real sleepy…..

I decided to creating a customised symbol set that benefits my current needs. I trimmed it down to 5 forces that’ll benefit and help my life. With these 5 forces, I’m hoping to be able to tap into them easily and work with them in a modular fashion. If not one force is not enough, choose 2 or all, and they will still work in synergy. While I’m not trying to tap into world changing forces here, these will be enough for me to lead a comfortable lifestyle…give or take with magick anyways, lol.

I went towards creating chaote style sigils for them while creating words of power, I’m empowering them ala eastern esotericism methods.

The thing is, whenever I go through my empowering ritual, I feel so energized that I can’t fall asleep, and my body does not feel tired but I can tell some parts are getting worn out (back shoulder/feet gels area).

I’m at the 2nd day now where I haven’t been able to fall asleep. I don’t know if it’s the force I am working with, or just the empowering ritual itself. Anyways, I hope to be able to fall asleep tonight, I still got 2 more days after tonight of preparatory work.

Establishing Or Creating Symbol Set

As I go though my magickal inventory, trying to redefine and refine it into a simple yet functional system – throwing away the junk and keeping and strengthening the diamonds in the rough – I hit upon the same problem I always hit in my magickal journy(ies) for years now.

Should I start a fresh symbol set of my own making, or utilise an already established functioning set? I’m already aware of the pros and cons because like I said, this topic always come up in my head but I haven’t been able to find the answer even after all these years. Should I use greek vowels, demonic enns, or go chaote and sigilize or barbaric words?

I started jotting down in a notebook goetic entities and their associated demonic enns, and I wrote down entities of NAP and their associated words of power that I want to utilise more. I’ve been working again with Kuji In w/ empowering chants and hand seals but then I hit a point where I though this is not very minimalist, still very convoluted IMHO.

What I’m looking for right now is a system of magick to deal with my microcosmic needs; something simple and elegant, yet powerful.

My main issue is that I always need to be flexible and I want consistent results. I’ve been able to achieve results with the words of power from NAP or demonic enns in conjunction w/ goetic seals but it’s so..black and white. I’ve been working w/ Kuji In for years as well but it’s so….light’centric.  I’ve worked w/ sigils and customized words of power but I don’t achieve consistent results. I’ve worked w/ just pure elemental energy but it’s not very flexible for my taste, it’s so primal that programming the colours of human nature don’t seem to take well – also it doesn’t have any words of power I can link to (as far as I can tell).

1 step forward, 2 steps back, lol – but that’s ok, it’s all part of the journey. At this point though, it feels like I’ve let go of every system that I know to a point where I don’t have a personal magickal system.

It’s kinds scary….and I’m not at the point yet where I can call this feeling..refreshing as I have a blank slate to paint at.

 

 

Being Realistic

These past few weeks, I’ve been in an intense introspection of who I am and what I do – I still am in fact, I still have a long way to go but no stone is untouched and nothing is sacred in my journey to really explore, refine, and discover what really makes me tick.

I’ve been going w/ the premise/mindset of if I had one year to live, what would I be doing? Where should I be? The place that I am now in my life, is this where I want to be and where I should be moving forwards?

I’ve been minimalizing my “stuff” that I don’t need and going to obtain the things that I want, I started playing more guitar and listening to music. I’ve been evaluating my love life and my career, what do I need to do and what do I need to fix – even the people in my life, only the people that deserves my trust and care.

While reviewing the inventory of my so called life, I hit upon the subject of this sacred arte of magick. While this is a magickal blog about my exploits and adventures in the gravy train that is magick, if I had one year to live – this would be one of the things I would sadly drop.

Don’t get me wrong, this hypothetical situation that I have placed on myself to get me really moving….is a bit extreme, kinda like being a Dice Man, and TBH – one year for me is not enough to enjoy the practice of magick. The type of magick I practice is very grindy and long, not something that is gonna work within a limited one year span.

With that said, it made me realise how I love magick but I don’t have the fervor that I once had with it, I’m not obsessed with it – not like guitars, music or martial arts.

I am not as hungry as I once was.

Maybe because I’ve been doing it for so long, maybe it’s just some planetary retrograde, maybe I’m just burnt out but I know, right now, in my heart – that fire isn’t burning hot, maybe more of a warm fireplace instead of a bonfire.

So now I try to figure out what the dilemma is, because I do know I love magick – I can never really let it go, I know this deep inside, I will regret it, the time I lose if I stop and let it go so I now go to figure out what kind of accelerator do I need to spark that warm fireplace fire, into a blazing hot bonfire of excitement and adventure.

A New Adventure

I’m in my early thirties and I feel like I’ve accomplished things in my life, but I still feel like I haven’t accomplished as much as I can though….I remember a movie conversation in “Limitless” which basically describes humans as beings who isn’t easily sated – is this what I am feeling? Have I accomplished more than others but since my delusions/programming is set to default for overachieving, I’m wired to continue, to keep trying to reach places I never even should try to.

While my fundamentals are rooted deeply into Bardonian Hermeticism and Eastern Esotericism, I’ve dabbled and pursued other traditions and disciplines and I’ve accomplished many a things with them.

I can list the things that I’ve accomplished; the disciplines and traditions I’ve studied and learned, the entities that I’ve spoken to, commanded at, coaxed into servitude under me, the things that I’ve accomplished IRL via the use of magick, the people I’ve harmed, the people I’ve blessed, the people I care for, the people I dislike.

Overall, I still feel that longing for that next big things – is it just an illusion of the mind? A thing that can never be reached? Is it the journey, or is it the goal?

These kind of things are things that makes me stop and wonder, but then I see people around me who don’t even have the help of magick, accomplish great big things – I know it’s possible because someone has done it before me, is it because of being in the right place and the right time? the right idea? the environment that developed growth?

Whatever the variable is – it happens, and I want it.

So onto that next big adventure…

I want to have that next BIG adventure…..

The Final Countdown

People always say, YOLO or Carpe Diem but how many of us truly follow this creed? 

Who is actually living this kind of like, this kind of freedom? TBF, life has a knack of getting into someone’s way – always at that point where the hard decisions are made and because of various factors in between before you got to that point in time, we always pick the responsible answers. 

It’s just the way it is, how a normal human being behaves in society.
I’m not making excuses or justifications because I’m in the same boat as well. I try to live life to the fullest but in between, there’s that junk that we get hit with that we have to deal with and resolve.

That’s why I’m such a fan of movies/TV  where the protagonist only have a limited amount of time to live and deal with issues. When backed against the, we show our true nature and shine.

If you only have a year to live, what would want to accomplish?

What would your life look like?

Essentialism

I’m reading this book called, Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, trying to get some ideas and be inspired.

I’ve always been a big fan of the minimalism movement, even though it’s a little hard for me sometimes because I naturally like to collect things, be it out of curiosity or just survival instincts or I don’t like to waste things I think I’ll be using later on or my splurging habits….I’m actually the worst type of person to be a minimalist.

Anyways, my point was that there was a line that I really liked in the book, to paraphrase – it’s to invest on yourself. We’re so enamoured by the external distractions and stimulation that we discard one of the most important things in our lives; our mind, body & spirit.

Now, there are some schools of thought that totally discards the physical plane and if that is what they want to do, I can respect that but it’s the end all truth – that’s why I’m quite fond of the LHP as well, it strives to reach a next level but always grounded. There’s a reason this plane of existence exists, it’s not a hell for us to try to break out of.

This post has 2 points that I will eventually get to, lol. Just a couple of train of thoughts that came out to reading this book.

One is that invest on yourself, really look at your time and if you think you are doing this much for yourself, allocate 25% more on yourself. Not drown yourself w/ material things but enrich your mind, body and spirit with the things you truly enjoy. If you really want to nap all the time, then so be it, lol. If you’re action extraordinaire who makes James Bond life look like the Hardy Boys, then power to you.

My second point/thought is that minimalism is essentially baring one to the core of themselves without the trappings we put on to hide or blend in or whatever. That’s what I think of magick too, trying to bare it to the core components that can work at the level or any module/technique.

Overall, I didn’t like how the book was written but I like the message and the advice it gave out. It’s very lifehackcentric but TBH, I’ve read most of the tips online already.