The last few weeks, my financial situation has hit the fan, and all I can do to help is to do some emergency magick. I called on my posse of entities from the NAP grimoire but as a fail safe, I decided not to be extremely detailed w/ my request and let the universe take care of it. I figured if I was less exact w/ what I wanted, the chances of success will be higher.
So, there was success but the morale of the story is the “but” that came with it.
Car broke down: buying a new (used) van and the person agreed to the terms of the payment but – now the hassle is actually getting the van since the paperwork is not ready yet
Furnace broke down: and was fixed. apparently, we were under the plan for maintenance and service so teh guy fixed it but – if it breaks down again, we’d have to replace it since trying to make it work again makes it liable to blow up the house (lol).
Lack of funds: due to the stuff above but i did get paid and i did get some extra cashflow BUT – it’s in gift card format and can only be spent in Walmart.
So, overall, what did I learn…..
Since I’ve started this whole spiritual retreat of sorts, all the things I’m trying to suppressed are fighting to explode out of me – I guess this is how just things are; the more you fight it, the more it wants to be released.
A couple of notes during this week…..
- It’s like the universe is conspiring to throw everything at me to piss me off, lol. Right now, I’ve got cuts on my face, smashed my left ring finger, bruised my right forefinger and my right achilles heel is all messed up. I’ve almost quit twice at work, and my boss is being an uber ass. My own peeps are getting on my nerves as well.
- I like being angry, lol. I guess that’s why I lean much closer to a sorcerer than a magickian, description wise.
- Anger is being controlled, vulgar words are much harder since I’m so used to it and it just comes out common words, easy being helpful, lack of masturbation is being handled and no porn has been the easiest part.
I just never realized how easily my dark side, and light side coexist. Peoples perception of me is a nice guy angel but people who really get me, and has been with me for awhile knows that I’m not so nice.
Well, onto the 2nd week.
An associate of mine, Fr Akenu, does a vow of sorts every year which he basically calls “Priesthood”. You can check out the link here as it’ll explain much better than I.
I thought this was an interesting idea so I decided to do it as well. I picked the month of December since I thought it would be good to start the new year off nice and clean. As well, I decided to follow/add the NoFap rule in this vow as well. The NoFap movement is basically no jerking off and no watching porn. (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to have sex though, I assume I can…..)
Also, I wrote a rite for this vow – so I can have something to reinforce the ideas in my brain,
Rite of Priesthood
Oh gods of here and the beyond, hear my vow.
I offer my services to the world and beyond.
To help and heal anyone in need.
To hold no anger against those who have wronged me.
To avoid the act of self pleasure.
To withstand the influence of visual stimulation.
To act and uphold our sacred nobility everyday.
Hear my vow, oh sacred Gods.
Bless me in my journey of self improvement.
So in line w/ my vow, anyone who may need any sort of help that is in line w/ my expertise (healing, blessings, occult investigations, etc – no love magicks please!). Feel free to contact me and I’ll see what I can do.
The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Without Bardon, I would’ve never sunked into this addiction that is called magick. For that, and his seminal works, I am truly grateful!
Yesterday, I was doing my contemplations before I went to sleep when my train of thought went to Catholicism & God, how people who utterly devote themselves to a patron (insert whatever deity you choose to follow) can probably achieve a greater connection/power combined. (To be fair, it was a mish mash of thoughts regarding this, and master/ apprentice relationship, eastern and western mysticism…..yup, all the things one should be thinking of before they go to sleep, lol)
So I decided to test it out and started praying to God (like a good Catholic boy, I still remember all of the important prayers), then I really start to try to feel the connection, and something clicked.
I was bathed in a white light, but it wasn’t good or anything – wasn’t like a drug…..it was just warmth. It kept going and going, it was expansive. I think I had visions but this was the very first time this occurred so I couldn’t discern anything – there was just ALOT of things going on and I couldn’t keep up.
I kept at this point till I eventually fell asleep.
One of the things I noticed is that how the connection was emotionally fueled; I used an emotion, that in my POV, needs all the TLC it can get, and once that synced and connected with what I was trying to connect- the connection was fast and hard.
This was an interesting experience overall, and something that I might pursue later on.