Since I’ve started this whole spiritual retreat of sorts, all the things I’m trying to suppressed are fighting to explode out of me – I guess this is how just things are; the more you fight it, the more it wants to be released.
A couple of notes during this week…..
- It’s like the universe is conspiring to throw everything at me to piss me off, lol. Right now, I’ve got cuts on my face, smashed my left ring finger, bruised my right forefinger and my right achilles heel is all messed up. I’ve almost quit twice at work, and my boss is being an uber ass. My own peeps are getting on my nerves as well.
- I like being angry, lol. I guess that’s why I lean much closer to a sorcerer than a magickian, description wise.
- Anger is being controlled, vulgar words are much harder since I’m so used to it and it just comes out common words, easy being helpful, lack of masturbation is being handled and no porn has been the easiest part.
I just never realized how easily my dark side, and light side coexist. Peoples perception of me is a nice guy angel but people who really get me, and has been with me for awhile knows that I’m not so nice.
Well, onto the 2nd week.
Yesterday, I was doing my contemplations before I went to sleep when my train of thought went to Catholicism & God, how people who utterly devote themselves to a patron (insert whatever deity you choose to follow) can probably achieve a greater connection/power combined. (To be fair, it was a mish mash of thoughts regarding this, and master/ apprentice relationship, eastern and western mysticism…..yup, all the things one should be thinking of before they go to sleep, lol)
So I decided to test it out and started praying to God (like a good Catholic boy, I still remember all of the important prayers), then I really start to try to feel the connection, and something clicked.
I was bathed in a white light, but it wasn’t good or anything – wasn’t like a drug…..it was just warmth. It kept going and going, it was expansive. I think I had visions but this was the very first time this occurred so I couldn’t discern anything – there was just ALOT of things going on and I couldn’t keep up.
I kept at this point till I eventually fell asleep.
One of the things I noticed is that how the connection was emotionally fueled; I used an emotion, that in my POV, needs all the TLC it can get, and once that synced and connected with what I was trying to connect- the connection was fast and hard.
This was an interesting experience overall, and something that I might pursue later on.
Finally, someone mentioned it.
I never understood the big deal w/ DIYing you’re own magick. I mean really, the only reason one should be DIYing ones magick is that said technique has not been made up yet – there is a plethora of sources one can grab and utilize that has inherent power from the many years of activity.
And this is coming from a guy who was a chaote, and now a sorcerer – my whole trade business is being DIY, and all I’m sayin that it’s quite inefficient not to take advantage of the resources one has the means to reach.
If you’re a beginner or even an early intermediate level practitioner, try to avoid “DIYing” your own way because…..
- You are still new (especially the noobs), you don’t understand the mechanics behind why and how a spell works.
- Unless you are Neo, your inherent powers/energies that needs to fuel your own DIY spell won’t be enough.
- Piggybacking on the inherent energies built upon the “standard/staple” spell is just plain smart.
- Why go against a tried and true formula?
Overall, DIY magick has it’s place, but be wary of ones who preaches that this is the only way. Eventually, one will reach that level where you DIY everything but that’s in a whole different level of understanding of magick and the universe itself.
I recently saw this movie. I’m a big fan of time travel movies, and Rachel McAdams, but more so time travel movies – she was just a bonus.
Anyways, the mechanic of the “time traveling” in this movie is that basically, you’re shifting your consciousness to a certain point in your life and reliving it/changing it and then you can shift back to the present; you can only go to the past as well – no future. You can then live w/ the consequences or keep redoing what you’ve done.
When I saw this, I was gleefully amused in my mind – because this was one of my theories/method on how a magickian can “travel back” in time. (and as a side bonus, gain immortality of sorts). Mind you, this was not the first movie to use such a “trick” – I think the Butterfly Effect had the same idea.
Just a simple breakdown, modern physics basically says that to be able to rip through time and space (thus gaining the first part of how to travel through time), one must be able to have access to an absurd amount energy that is currently not available to us.
So it got me thinking, how would I, a sorcerer, would go upon time traveling? And the answer I got was to shift my consciousness back.
Now to actually do it…..let’s just say it’s in my TODO pile, lol.
Ok…..so I’m a little late, lol.
IIH: Going back and really evaluating what I have done, and what am I capable of, and what I need to get done. Also polishing up on some of the skills that have gone rusty, like meditation and vital force accumulation.
BOOKS: I ended up reading some books that my friend recommended. Very cool reads, lol.
DAILY PRACTICE: I’ve started again but I am reworking on revamping it to suit my needs.
CONJURATION: Want to make a connection w/ my inner demon, just like I have w/ my HGA (for the life of me, I can’t remember that technical term for the counterpart of the HGA – someone let me know if they know, or am I just making this up? I’m sure I’ve read this somewhere…..) and utilize them more.
MISC. PROJECTS: Nothing really going, some starting but not really going, lol.