Yesterday, I was doing my contemplations before I went to sleep when my train of thought went to Catholicism & God, how people who utterly devote themselves to a patron (insert whatever deity you choose to follow) can probably achieve a greater connection/power combined. (To be fair, it was a mish mash of thoughts regarding this, and master/ apprentice relationship, eastern and western mysticism…..yup, all the things one should be thinking of before they go to sleep, lol)
So I decided to test it out and started praying to God (like a good Catholic boy, I still remember all of the important prayers), then I really start to try to feel the connection, and something clicked.
I was bathed in a white light, but it wasn’t good or anything – wasn’t like a drug…..it was just warmth. It kept going and going, it was expansive. I think I had visions but this was the very first time this occurred so I couldn’t discern anything – there was just ALOT of things going on and I couldn’t keep up.
I kept at this point till I eventually fell asleep.
One of the things I noticed is that how the connection was emotionally fueled; I used an emotion, that in my POV, needs all the TLC it can get, and once that synced and connected with what I was trying to connect- the connection was fast and hard.
This was an interesting experience overall, and something that I might pursue later on.
Ok…..so I’m a little late, lol.
IIH: Going back and really evaluating what I have done, and what am I capable of, and what I need to get done. Also polishing up on some of the skills that have gone rusty, like meditation and vital force accumulation.
BOOKS: I ended up reading some books that my friend recommended. Very cool reads, lol.
DAILY PRACTICE: I’ve started again but I am reworking on revamping it to suit my needs.
CONJURATION: Want to make a connection w/ my inner demon, just like I have w/ my HGA (for the life of me, I can’t remember that technical term for the counterpart of the HGA – someone let me know if they know, or am I just making this up? I’m sure I’ve read this somewhere…..) and utilize them more.
MISC. PROJECTS: Nothing really going, some starting but not really going, lol.
What’s life, without a little fun on the side, even on this side of the tracks.
Reading Books: TBH, I’ve probably stopped reading new material on the arcana; some of it is just there isn’t any new material for me to really sink my teeth into, the other is that I think I am at that point where experimenting, and applying what I’ve learned is really the way to get me into the next level of my arte.
So, at this point, my main resource are ideas; I need ideas from other practitioners/systems to inspire me to follow and see what I can come up. I still read some blogs, as I find this is where I get inspired w/ new ideas, I still read the staples of my path (Bardons + commentaries, NAP, Hines stuff, some Goetic grimoires) and maybe some more advance material but these are pretty much what I read, over and over again (and even saying that, I don’t do it often anymore).
Daily Practice: I think I need to revamp my daily practice as its’ still the same as it was when I was beginning my studies. I want to spice it up because doing the same elemental accumulation/balancing is just not cutting it for me anymore, and not really helping me progress into the higher levels of my path.
IIH: Maybe I’ll try to get to the next grade?
SS Experiment: Going in a slow snail pace…..One of my problems is that I can’t seem to focus on how to approach this. The other is that I’m not getting good results/feedback from the entities of the Goetia that I’m trying to contact to help/guide me in this matter. Also, not sure if I should go on the Goetia path or some other direction. I have lots of notes but I haven’t defined a clear approach on how to solve this matter.
HGA Connection: I think I’ve mentioned this, a long time ago, that I’ve made contact w/ HGA quite awhile ago but the way I am, and the way the HGA works – is not very congruent relationship. I’m more of a “no help needed” type of person while an HGA is supposed to give help & advice. But that was the old me I suppose (last year, lol), so I decided to open up to my HGA a little bit more by having it go into my dreams and we can discuss stuff. Right now, I’ve only tasked it w/ healing and protection but I am thinking of having a more active relationship.
All over the place again, but at least I am having more fun again.