Where Is My Next Step?

While I haven’t been actively practicing my sorcery as of late (I’ve started again but it has been a mission to jump back into the horse, as they would say), I still do my daily literary readings and an article from Kalagni popped at me.

Mind you, my ranting is in the same vein..but not so much.

I’ve already mentioned that I’ve been on somewhat of a rut – where I’ve achieved some level of proficiency in my system but has not gone down deep enough into the rabbit hole? I can achieve things but I can’t say that they’ve hit “supernatural” occultism level..more like things that can be achieved through certain genetic mutations or certain wiring of the synapses…more human evolution than magickal gifts of powers.

No Jedi Powers yet…

But who can blame me for wanting these things? Mages are all about passing the limits of reality but wait, nope – you can’t do this or that? We all read on those dusty grimoires demons appearing before you, showering you with wealth and concubines but now – nope, just stories and methapors.

Where is the limit of what we are able to achieve and not achieve, even though we are working with a paradigm where nothing is supposedly impossible…but that?!?!

I find it ridiculous, the premise of this thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as pragmatic and realistic (lol) as they come but why try to reach and achieve the impossible when we limit ourselves with so many rules already.

Even when I read through forums and I happen to come upon a totally sci-fi theory of magick, I keep an open mind, think it through, dissect and see the flaws or how it could happen, refine. I never throw an idea out, good or bad.

So my stance is that it most likely possible, but I am not skilled enough to achieve it. And that’s how I’ve been going at it. I’ve seen enough things in this world that science cannot explain so easily, I’ve met “things” that are not of this world anymore, things have happened to me that even to this day, I am not sure myself that happened.

With all of this word vomit, the one question – the question that nags me since the beginning still haunts me to this day – what is real?

So now, I suppose, the question is – where do I go now and how do I get there, or do I even bother to continue?

08.04.2014 Project Update

In general, training hasn’t been as regular as I’ve wanted it to be. Work has been taking up too much of my time and the end is nowhere in sight. But I need to keep at it so less complaining and more doing is what I really need to get done, lol.

Also, I’ve been tinkering w/ the idea of “buffing” myself. Buffing is a gaming term where you stack passive techs on yourself so when action time comes, you do your thing while the passive techs do their work. I think this is nothing new but in my practice, it will be. I was more of an active caster but now, I feel like buffing will work to my advantage and style.

With this new style in mind, I’ll have to work on my regime to incorporate this.

Demon of Slackerness

The demon of slackerness is probably the personal demon that have haunted me since youth – I mean who doesn’t like to slack off, lol. I sure do and these past few months, I’ve been enthralled by this being. We all have our own personal demons, and we all fight it out with it everyday – some has managed to work with it, some has a battle royale with it everyday of their lives.

With this one, I fall in the latter category. It just feels so good…..

Not just magickal wise, in general life as well. I still did some of the stuff that I wanted but I didn’t feel very productive, that the stuff that I did, while productive, wasn’t enriching the goals that I’ve set for myself.

But slowly, I’ve started to awaken from my slumber.

NO MORE! (kudos to whoever will connect this as a Dr Who reference, lol)

Mind you, I do get in these slumps – I’m the type who’ll go at it full swing till it tires me out. I think I’ve just been “life achieving”/”experience point farming” for so long and so hard that I eventually just burnt out and needed to not do anything, but I’ve been in a slump for far too long IMHO.

So I’ve started working on my self again; stopped working for others as a magickal worker. These past few months, I’ve devoted so much time to others – some with great success and some with failures that I can’t even being to understand as to how it occurred. But I’ve closed shop and will not likely open for public service anytime soon.

I still have a lot of things to do but I’ve slowly started back at it. Started working out again, started writing, started reading, started doing my band things, reestablishing my current practice, reading up on materials.

Doing fun magick as it was meant to be for me, while achieving everything I want in life.

See ya space cowboys!

BANG!

 

Sayonara EM Forums?

I haven’t been around the online magickal forums lately….Well, I only really dwell around a couple but one of my favorites, up to this point, has suddenly vanished.

evocationmagic.com

I haven’t really caught up with all the details but WTH man?!?!?!

EM was one of the only forums I really enjoyed still, while there has been an onslaught of crap posters, there was still real practitioners in there who share their thoughts and knowledge. As well, it was pretty diverse and most threads will spin into something interesting.

Mind you, we still get the garbage post here and there. And sometimes, I wish the mods would be more strict or around more often. But overall, that was my online haunting place…and now it’s gone.

*unhappy face*

TY Demons of the Black Pullet

This has been long overdue but I would like to say a personal thank you to the demons of the black pullet who has helped me with a certain issue of mine weeks ago. I meant to write this post of gratitude in this blog as well but have forgotten.

I really did appreciate what was done to make my life, a little bit easier, even though now – I pay the price for it.

C’est la vie. :)

07.03.2014 Project Updates

I haven’t very active in the online magickal scene recently, mostly as you can tell from the lack of posting in the interwebs and a lack of presence in the many boards I lurk around to.

I’ve stopped taken clients again, for the most part, and have dealt with everyone that was in my “books” per se.

Mostly because I’ve been trying to deal with what seemingly has piled up loose ends in my life, stuff that needs to get handled but has been forgotten or merely ignored due to tardiness (most likely the cause, I just don’t like working lol).

So my projects have split towards these little groupings (subject to change mind you);

BODY:  Been working on the little kinks that popped up during my inactivity; healing certain parts, strengthening certain parts. I’ve been meaning to lose more weight but I’m trying to figure if magick can help at all as my body is genetically one of those that loses weight with great difficulty. I will still do the dirty work but I would like magick to expedite things. Lots of things to work on in this end.

MIND: Been meditating more, focusing my will and determination, contemplating on many things, working on things to keep it sharp and focused. Will work on memory tricks eventually to help me memorize more things in a much more efficient manner.

SPIRIT: Been doing my meditation and energy work. Synchronicity is up in regards to Jupiterian, no real update in regards to the Venusian side of things though.

ACTION LIST:

  1. Work on harnessing and using Venusian forces more.
  2. Lose 60 LBS.
  3. Advance my musical career.

Lots to do so expect to see less of me, lol, online.

Perpetual N00B

I would like to say I’ve reach grandmaster mastery of everything magickal and sorcerous but I have not, even though I’ve hit the decade mark of learning and studying the arcane arts, even though I hear whispers from clients, friends and colleagues that I’ve reached a certain level of mastery, I still don’t feel it – I still feel that I am a perpetual n00b.

Those old words of Socrates really stuck to me…..

It’s not like I’m not progressing, I am, but there is still so much to learn and explore. Even my preferred choice of practice/system, I’ve barely scratched the surface.

But you know what, I kinda like it being in this state.. Always ready and eager to learn new and exciting things, ready to test and experiment the things that I have been shown, excited to try out the things that I’ve learned in the real world.

To the perpetual noob…. salut!